Alex Reynard
The Library
Alex Reynard's Online Books
Alex Reynard's
~~P~H~O~B~I~O~P~O~L~I~S~~
Featuring,
our cast:
Toby deLeon: a coward – Aaron Taylor-Johnson
Junella Brox: a freelancer – Cree Summer
Zinc: a bruiser – Christian Slater
Piffle McPerricone: an eccentric – Stevie Vallance
George Charles Atkinson: a manservant – Markiplier
Doll: a ward - ...
~
Luxy Bleeder: a tyrant – Ryan Reynolds
L'roon: a peddler – Stephen Fry
Gilla Gilla: a survivalist – John Boyega
Albion Aldridge: a sorcerer – Derren Brown
Rebecca Polidori: a housewife – Lili Taylor
~
Billawhi: a harbinger – Cloris Leachman
the arachnopus: a creature – Kimberly Brooks
Dr. Dacryphilia: a svengali – Patton Oswalt
Sander Trachea: a trader – Reginald D. Hunter
Spiretto Bronze: a rescuee – Danny Sexbang
Lady Mia Xenoiko: an innkeeper – Youki Kudoh
Dorster: a blacksmith – Tony "Man At Arms" Swatton
Alfonzo: an innovator – John Mulaney
Calvin Rither: a bushwhacker – John Leguizamo
Sergeant Canker: a hardass – ProZD
the terrier: a thug – Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Pancake Food: a fool – Harley "Sauce Boss" Morenstein
Ambient: a waitress – Karen Straughn
Mr. Roosman: a hotelier – Daniel Manus Pinkwater
Mr. Rippingbean: a retailer – Simon Pegg
Mr. Woofingbutter: a retailer – Nick Frost
Kay Burdock: a tailor – Daniel "Nerd³" Hardcastle
Kaye Burdock: a tailor – Emma Blackery
Jamais Dreamsicle: a reporter – Jane Kaczmarek
Loud Kevin: a hypeman - "Pistol" Pete Midtgard
Gibraltar F. Powell: a guardsman – Channing Tatum
Millie Maybach: a courtesan – Bette Midler
the doorman: a doorman – Dizzee Rascal
Pandevar Skyks: a defendant – Bo Burnham
Cameron: a cameraman – Adam Savage
Zhiral: an attendant – Arleen Sorkin
Red: a colossus – Frank Welker
Skeeto Nacker: a son – Jimmy Bennet
Tak Nacker: a father – Tory Belleci
Kat Nacker: a mother - Jewel Staite
Poubelle: a chef - Hannah Hart
After: a chef – Andrew Huang
Madam Tif Tif: a shopkeeper – Björk
Chorizo: an urchin – Teo Halm
Jazeizal: a potionmaster – Pink Guy
Vienna Tusk: a sniper – Zoë Bell
Ignatious Xenoiko: a coot – Will Forte
Ike Fanshaw: a banshee – Hopsin
Janie Jing: a telekinetic – Tabitha St. Germain
Waxacada: a sage – Christopher Lloyd
Driuwej: a guru – Chow Yun Fat
Tía Lopez: a curandera – Sônia Braga
King: a greaser – Rick Gomez
Arvid Gundersson: a dreamer – Anthony Zerbe
Speech Synthesis Program v3.60: a voice – Sigourney Weaver
"Lantern Eyes" Lulu: a slavedriver – Carolyn Lawrence
Maxo Mattic: a swashbuckler – Cam Clarke
Mini Maul: a henchdroid – Scarlett Johansson
The Robber: a robber – Bobcat Goldthwait
~***~
-SOUNDTRACK-
*Dream I
Skrillex – Fire Away [Prologue] (Toby's theme)
Skrillex – The Reason [Rust & Hiding]
Icona Pop feat. The Knocks & St. Lucia – Sun Goes Down [The Cave]
Ecklectic Mick – I Like To Do Things For You [After Spider] (Piffle's Theme)
Caravan Palace – Sydney [To Stoma]
Pete Townshend – Let My Love Open The Door [Dacryphilia's Domain]
SCNDL- 40 Thieves [Escape Run]
Ennio Morricone – My Fault [Glowing Ground] (George's Theme)
Skrillex – Doompy Poomp [Morning Walk]
Gramatik – Swucca Chust [Jennie Mae]
Savant – Sledge Hammer [Tinder Fingers]
The Baseballs – Crazy In Love [Car Work]
Proleter – April Showers [Sander's Shop]
Gramatik – Lonely & Cold [Backseat Sulk]
Bill Withers – Ain't No Sunshine (Lido Remix) [Waterfallout]
Mitsunori Ikeda feat Aimee B. - Fallen Angel [Trapforest Path] (Doll's theme)
Lights – Quiet [Campfire]
*Dream II
Basement Jaxx – Good Luck [Ice Massacre] (Junella's Theme)
Pogo – Living Island [Coryza Arrival]
Hugo – 99 Problems (JPOD Remix) [The Tatterdemalion]
Twistin' Tarantulas – Takin' You Down Tonight [Dorster's Invention] (Zinc's Theme)
George & Jonathan – Jamn [Coryza Afternoon]
Dyro – Black Smoke [Amaurosis Fugax]
Skrillex – Rock 'N' Roll (Will Take You To The Mountain) [Red Noses]
Karl Jenkins – Palladio (Luke Da Duke Remix) [Audio Weapon]
Shawn Wasabi – Pizza Rolls [Bigwheel One]
Nine Inch Nails – Head Like A Hole [The Gastroworks]
Tanuki – Baby Baby Dream [Rippingbean & Woofingbutter's]
Future Fox – Love Trip [K&K]
Nero – Departure [Penthouse Suite]
Protohype & Kezwik – Hold Your Breath [Gyre 2]
FantomenK & Meganeko – Crystal Tokyo [To 46!]
Gramatik – Red Baron Of WWIII [Mall Assault]
Saliva – Ladies And Gentlemen [Lux Aeterna]
Queens Of The Stone Age – Smooth Sailing [The Trial] (Luxy's theme)
*Dream III
Gotye – Seven Hours With A Backseat Driver [Circling EC]
Twistin' Tarantulas – Ace Of Spades [Hyper Highway]
Noisia – Groundhog [Cat Ball]
The Chemical Brothers – Come With Us [Airplane!]
Skrillex – Try It Out [Bridge Birds]
Tut Tut Child – Broadside Bordello [She's Big]
Proleter – The Misfit Song [Hitchhiking]
Teminite – Beastmode [Convorines]
Tha Trickaz – Cut Like A Guillotine [Enter Gilla]
Winne – W.I.N.N.E. [Gilla's Pad]
Skrillex – Ragga Bomb [Morning Practice]
Zapp – Radio People [L'roon]
The Beat Tornados – Living In The Shadows [Swamp Things]
Quincy Jones – Summer In The City [Maze & Prep]
Caravan Palace – Queens [Entering Dysphoria]
Gorge Catanda – SNFLD [Sanity Drop]
Nero's Day At Disneyland – No Money Down Low Monthly Payments [Bedrooms & Bedrooms]
Yasunori Mitsuda – The Girl Who Stole The Stars [A Loss]
Stevie Wonder – Ecclesiastes [Escalator Mood]
Brian Eno – Deep Blue Sea [Wizard House]
Gramatik – Day Of The So Called Glory [Hello]
*Dream IV
Hiroyuki Namba – Silent War [Lying Awake]
Cat Stevens – Rubylove [Scarlatina Sighted]
Shawn Wasabi – Marble Soda [Dry Days]
Disclosure ft. Eliza Doolittle – You & Me (Flume Remix) [Sudden Recall]
_yi – irasshai_bye_bye [Doubts & Leaving]
Beats Antique – Junktion [Lalochezia Afternoon]
Haywyre – Insight [Hopeful Realization]
ProleteR – Inna [Tif Tif]
Specimen A – Tomahawk [Market Battle]
Beats Antique – Oriental Uno [Disguised Return]
Brian Eno – Under Stars [Living Constellations]
Ennio Morricone – Man With A Harmonica (Mad Maxx Remix) [Day's Travel]
Logan Kendell – The Grid (On Homemade Gas Can Guitar) [The Herd]
Skrillex feat. Ellie Goulding – Summit [Slow Work]
Gramatik feat. Eskobars – Brave Men [Vienna Tusk]
traditional – La Cucaracha [They're Here!]
Miike Snow – Genghis Khan [Pep Talk]
Falk – Endless Possibility (Rockestrate My World Arrangement) [Toby's Warpath]
*Dream V & VI
Link Wray – Rumble [Remember 1]
Ruth Etting – Laughing At Life [Remember 2]
Gramatik – In This Whole World [Remember 3]
Gramatik – We Used To Dream [Spiral Staircase]
Frou Frou – Must Be Dreaming [The Plan]
Arctic Monkeys – Do I Wanna Know [Crawling Back]
Kenji Kawai – Floating Museum [Emerald & White]
Starcadian – Pompey Pirate [Flashback/Boom]
Torro Torro – Make A Move (Skrillex Remix) [Opening Arguments]
Shurk – Haunted [Burning Eyes]
Skrillex – Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites (Dirtyphonics Remix) [Battle Royale]
Yoshihisa Hirano – The Puppeteer ["I have..."]
Panic! At The Disco – Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time [Expeditioners, Charge!]
Monsta – Holdin' On (Skrillex & Nero Remix) [Toby Returns]
Son Lux – Lost It To Trying [Toby Loses]
Grissini Project – No Time For Caution [The Word]
Isao Tomita – Claire de Lune [Aftercare]
VNV Nation – Gratitude [Many Changes]
Caravan Palace – Aftermath [Shop/Arrhythmia]
Mystery Skulls – Forever [Final Line]
Skrillex – Recess [End Credits]
~***~
SINCERE GRATITUDE TO MY PATRONS OF UNFATHOMABLE PATIENCE
Robert Darling
Chris
Pseudos Muhthotohsin
Vanyel Stargazer
Angelwuff
Sen Grisane
Shadow Panther
Relee Squirrel
Trashycoon
D Kenmason
***
Thanks also to the following, for encouragement:
PagliacciGrim, wombatwobble, dragoon134, mkyner, GuW69
~***~
OMEGA-LEVEL, PANTS-SHITTING, WORLD-IS-NOT-ENOUGH THANKS TO MY PROOFREADING TEAM
Alfador Fox: Master of typos
Kanada: Master of art
Relee Squirrel: Master of continuity
Robby Rourke: Master of voice
Zephon Fox: Master of theming
~***~
And lastly, very special thanks are due to
Lewis Carroll, for Wonderland
L. Frank Baum, for Oz
Michael Ende, for Fantastica
Norton Juster, for the lands beyond the tollbooth
Lee Minoff & Heinz Edelmann, for Pepperland
Harry Nilsson, for the Pointless Forest
Daniel M. Pinkwater, for Diamond Hard
Stephen King & Peter Straub, for the Territories
Sidney Lumet, for Oz
Hayao Miyazaki, for the Periphery
Don Bluth, for the rose bush
John Korty, for the Murkworks and sunny Frivoli
Wolfgang Petersen, for Fantasia
Walter Murch, for Oz
Jim Henson, for the Labyrinth
Ralph Bakshi, for Tattertown
Yukito Kushiro, for the Scrapyard
Jim Woodring, for the Unifactor
Mark Crilley, for Smoo
Ken Levine, for Columbia
Toby Fox, for Mount Ebott
and
Alan Aldridge, for the cover of Elton John's Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy,
the first time I ever saw an epic story unfold in a single image.
~***~
'Cause the world might do me in
It's alright, 'cause I'm with friends
-Mystery Skulls, "Ghost"